1. You're constantly on the offensive. Strangers will irritate you, everybody is incompetent and nothing is working as efficiently as it should. You start getting your fighting elbows ready even before you tap in on your Oyster card.
2. You're constantly late. Time speeds up, everything and everybody else is running late too. Punctuality is a quaint notion.
3. You're constantly busy. Staying home is incomprehensible. Home is for showering and sleeping. You look forward to a quiet night in which terminates at approximately 11pm when the boredom sets in.
4. You're constantly broke. See number 3.
5. You're constantly cooing at any patch of grass bigger than your bedroom. "Ooh look at the park it's so pretty and GREEN." Whatever happened to green?
6. You're no longer shockable. Everything is the norm, nothing is scary or superlative. The girl with the blue hair isn't crazy or cutting edge, she's a smurf riding the tube. The guy with the pick-axes tattooed on his cheeks isn't scary, he's hilarious. And probably a bit emo.
7. The possibility of doing anything you want at any time of the day is no longer thrilling, it's life.
8. You get carsick anytime you catch a cab and no longer miss driving down motorways.
9. You buy self-sufficient potted plants - for the windowsill, and are constantly scouting for more.
10. You're no longer afraid of getting lost.
11. You start referring to the city as your home and look forward to seeing it after every weekend away.
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